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Proyecto Visión 21

What do I need to do to be understood?

Francisco Miraval

What do I need to do to be understood? Seriously. What do I need to say so I can have a normal dialogue with the person or persons I am speaking with? I would like to enjoy at least some form of almost authentic communication, and not just a frustrating parody of communication.

This is not just a rhetorical questions. In fact, I don’t have any answer, neither good nor bad. It was said that the arrival of new technologies to send and receive information will not only speed up the exchange of information, but it will also make the dialogue deeper and wider. But nothing like that is happening.

For example, I recently sent a message for a few people asking for contacts in a certain city. I was sincerely hoping for answers like “I am sorry, I don’t know anybody in that city”, or “Here you have a few contacts”. But that’s not what happened.

One of the persons congratulated me for my message. I fail to see how sending a short message could be so especial as to be congratulated, but, regardless, many thanks.

Another person wished me a happy birthday. I don’t know if it was a mistake or a case or sarcasm. Whatever the case, my birthday is a few months away, so it is good to receive good wishes, even if the intentions are less than clear.

A third person told me he lives in a different city. Perhaps it was a way to invite me to share more information with him, but he never replied to my question. And a fourth person sent me his greetings from a country on the other side of the continent.

I asked a very simple question: Do you have contacts in this city? None of the answers I received, however, answered my question. I was tempted to send a message to those who did not reply to me to thank them for not sending me an answer, because, in doing so, they saved me from reading irrelevant answers.

I wonder what is happening to us that is preventing us from having a conversation with at least an appearance of a meaningful exchange. Are we so busy we can’t even pay attention to what others says? Are our mind and hearts so filled with concerns that we can’t even understand what others say? I sincerely don’t know.

If speaking the same language and sharing the same culture is not helping us to enjoy a normal conversation, but just an overlapping of unconnected expressions, what would happen if that homogeneity disappears? What are we going to do if we need to talk with people with other cultures, or speaking a different language, or belonging to a different generation?

Because I don’t have any answer, I can only try to be more careful every time I say something or have a conversation, hoping my words will not be misunderstood or distorted. But after my recent experience, I sincerely doubt it.

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